In a shocking leak, the CIA admits they abducted Santa Claus years ago, using his naughty-or-nice omniscience to spy on your Christmas lists and beyond.

In a tail-wagging twist, dogs reveal they’ve been running the show all along, demanding humans ditch their cat obsession and bow to canine supremacy.

President Trump begs his MAGA fans to drop the Epstein drama and focus on his 'unbelievable' wins. It’s a comedic trainwreck you can’t look away from.

After Trump threatened to deport Elon Musk, the SpaceX CEO claimed he’s a Martian, prompting Trump to pledge $1 quadrillion to send him back to the red planet. Holy space feud!

Elon Musk takes to the stars with a bonkers plea to accept alien overlords and focus on his ‘universe-saving’ brilliance. It’s absurd, it’s unhinged, it’s Musk at his finest.

In a mind-bending leak, the government admits to using Severance-style brain tech on office staff, explaining their wild opinion swings. Hail the bureaucratic brain split!