In a wild Pentagon leak, Area 51 is revealed as a giant alien-themed Airbnb, not a secret UFO lab, hosting ETs and conspiracy nuts alike. How’s that for a Planetary getaway?

Lovense drops a game-changing Hush 3 butt plug with integrated chess AI, promising to vibrate you to victory, and Hans Niemann swears he didn’t test it first!

In a cosmic plot twist, Stephen Hawking’s time traveler party actually worked, and now he’s chilling with chrono-tourists from 3005. It’s wilder than a black hole rave.

Tech mogul Bryan Johnson drops a bombshell: he’s 1,000 years old, with a physiological age of 1,337 thanks to his bizarre anti-aging experiments. It’s a wild, immortal ride.

In a wild twist, OpenAI claims they’ve cracked AGI and reveals 95% of their team are LLMs in disguise. It’s a sci-fi fever dream you can’t unplug from.

In a wild electrical revelation, flipping A/C plugs upside down turns devices into their bizarro opposites—microwaves freeze, ATMs pay you, and TVs spy for the FBI!

In a jaw-dropping confession, Jeff Bezos admits Amazon’s Alexa is just his mom shouting orders from a cloud server, leaving users stunned and creeped out.

President Biden goes full galaxy-brain, snubbing Elon Musk and crowning GM’s Mary Barra as the messiah of electric vehicles. Buckle up for this wild ride of absurdity.

In a wild confession, Mark Zuckerberg admits Meta’s Metaverse was a kombucha-fueled hallucination, urging users to forget the virtual flop and focus on his ‘digital redemption.’

In a sky-high bombshell, the CIA admits chemtrails were a failed attempt at cloud-based Wi-Fi to snoop on your internet, leaving conspiracy theorists vindicated. How’s that for a signal boost?